I missed my Yoga class today by choice.  Mark Whitwell , states in his book : "Yoga of Heart", "Healing happens for individuals, relationships, community and the world when we participate in life in the form it is already given". 
      I had planned for two whole days to take a 7 pm yoga class.  My thoughts were excited to return to a full 90 minute meditation in practise which is what I like to call a lengthy asana/pranayama class. I was looking forward to being 'instructed' and taken outside of my own head.  I was struggling to remain present in my moments as my mind kept telling a story that I was not yet ready to 'let go' of and as a result, could not quite participate fully in observation of my moments. I had been hurt.  I wanted space from this hurt, just for a moment.
      Then, the phone rang.  "Hello. " 
Hubby "what's up?"
Me: "Uh, getting ready to head to yoga".
Hubby: "I am not feeling so hot"
Me:  "I am sorry.  Mm, can you rest up? Take some Ibuprofen?"
Hubby: "yeah but ..."
Me: "But what?"
Hubby: "Are we cooking these veggies tonight?"
Me:  "No, I am going to Yoga.  I will do it this weekend."
Hubby: " Ah, they can't wait til this weekend, they will go bad. Ok, you go to yoga and I will cook the veggies." (Did I detect a sound of disdain?)
Me:  Silence as I wanted to scream.  Feeling absolutely horrible for not wanting to go home and help my hubby out.  Totally debating if I should focus on my self- which is a ok with me.  I need to take care of me as well, oh god, why does this have to happen when I need my yoga class the most!!!!?

   And on and on my little thought processes complained.  Then, I stopped.  Noticed what I was doing.  I have the freedom, the tools to make a choice.  I have everything I needed right then and there in that moment.  I can choose to access that space in my own mind and body that gives me the exact same results as attending a 'yoga class'.  It is called 'life'.
    "Yoga is the movement of the life current... into its inherent relationships, the body, the breath and perceptions, our experience.   To merge, to be with our experience rather than react to our experience, is yoga.  Then we are no longer clogging our system with our reaction.  The energy of life flows."  - Mark Whitwell.
     I can experience "Yoga" at any given moment. I decided to take my Yogic practice home with me, forgoing the asana practice, instead- finding the yogic experience through direct participation with relationship.  I chose to go home, and practice the 'letting go' of my expectation, the hurt, the perspective that fueled the hurt, opened my heart to my hubby, and tried to fully participate in the moment.  Making the decision was easy, putting it into practice once I was home- was the challenge.
     I had been hurt by words spoken and to be present in the same space that was a constant reminder of the 'hurt' was difficult.  I avoided eye contact for a good half hour, then I decided that I did not need to hear or receive anything from my hubby, that I had all I needed in this moment.  I did not need his hugs or acknowledgement or his smile or touch that at this moment, I needed to be loving to self and commit to being fully present with self and with the relationship towards my hubby without the preconceived 'need' from hubby.  I chose to 'let go' in just this moment.
     And together, we prepared meals and dessert together: Vegan chocolate Mousse and Dharma Shala Soup!!
    
    
    
    
    
    

     Dharma Shala Soup took quite a bit of preparation! The simplest of soups , totally vegan and vibrant with energy as the ingredients include chard, kale, leeks, onions, ginger, olive oil, and veggie broth.  Simple yes.  However, for a restless mind, preparing this meal was a 'meditation' in practice.  I chose to be present. I chose to attend to the cutting of the veggies, the washing of the veggies, the attention to my environment. "I see, the cutting board.  I feel the knife in my hand.  I see you- hubby.  "  All without judging, without expecting, without hoping or manipulating the conversation is some way as to achieve a 'goal'.  I instead practiced 'yoga'.  I chose to be mindful, just noticing without judging.  I chose to let go of my hurt just for this moment.  Instead, focusing on the life experience.       The first half hour was torture.  I was hurt and wanted a solution.  However, the words of  Mark Whitwell kept resonating in my ears:  "Yoga is the direct devotion, participation and intimacy with Life as it is already Given, whatever it is altogether! This is what reduces duhkha (restriction or pain), nothing else."
     And so , I focused on a deep breath, then I looked at hubby and said "I see you." Smiled and thanked him for making me a better person.  Told him I needed to forgive him and he hugged me and said he never meant to hurt me. 
     And now , I sit, with a tummy full of yummy vegan chocolate mousse- that I made participating in my moment, a moment that I would have missed out on- if I would have chosen to stay inside of myself and not allow my mind, my body to participate in the experience of 'relationship' other than my own.  A memory now, that will reinforce the ability of the 'process' to create change in my heart, body, and mind. 
    Relationships suck sometimes because getting hurt- totally sucks. But, the process of remaining present, the process of forgiving, of loving, of being compassionate to self and to others- deepens the connection to self and others.  In it's irony, relationship is necessary to live life to the fullest, to help us see beyond our own selfishness, to learn compassion to self, to others, to learn how to forgive, to learn what we are capable of and that we most assuredly- have all we need already within ourselves.
     The irony of this story, is that I chose to act in love to myself first.  I chose to listen to my need for healthy relationship, my need to learn to let go of my pain and the only way for me to do this- is to directly confront the pain- being in it's presence and proactively 'letting go' by participation in the life experience that was playing out- preparing meals with hubby.  I intend to live in freedom. 
"The cultural obsession of looking for perfection diminishes our noticing the perfection that is already established in us as life and abundantly given." Mark Whitwell.

Vegan Chocolate Mousse:
   This recipe was taken from "Raw Food, Real World" by Sarma Melngailis. She owns a cool kick ass Raw Vegan Restaurant in Greenwich New York called 'Pure Food and Wine'

2 cups coconut meat (baby coconut is best I think!)
3/4 cup coconut water, at room temperature
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup agave nectar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon sea salt

In a Vita-mix or high speed blender, puree ALL ingredients!  Then transfer to bowls or cups to chill in the fridge or eat right away!  I prefer it chilled with a little fruit on top or whipped cream. 

The hardest part is getting the baby coconut open and scooping all the insides out but it is so FUN!!!


 

Dharma Shala Soup
     chard
     kale
     ginger
     onion
     veggie broth
      leek
      olive oil
       salt

It doesn't interest me if there is one God or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
if you are prepared to live in the world with it's harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand.  I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing.  I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have been told, in that fierce embrace, even the gods speak of God.

To all my crossfit enthusiast that have walked through my door post a back injury, this one is for you.

First of all, let me start off by saying, deadlifts are not bad. They are not good.  They are what they are to you, at this time in your life.  If you embrace this form of movement, go into the posture with grace and power. Skill and Will.  Knowing what you are capable of because you have taken the time to really inquire both with logic and with Sensory Integration skills that help you to isolate and identify each muscle you need to power up in this pose. 
     Let's begin with a mechanistic view of this pose.  In a initial movement of a  deadlift position, the knees are  bent, the hips are hinged, and the trunk is forward, coming infront of your Center of Gravity and outside of your base of support.  It is mostly taught, to have the lumbar spine 'flexed' or in a posterior pelvic tilt. Mechanistically, we know that in physics when this occurs, the amount of 'torque' load at Lumbar vertebrae 3 mostly and 4, is going to increase tremendously- even before additional weight is applied.  In a restorative or injury prevention training, I would teach lumbar spine neutral and work on increasing both psoas and hamstring length to help maintain lumbar spine neutral (that is just the beginning).  Keeping the  hamstrings long enough to allow as close to 'neutral spine' in the lumbar spine as possible at the beginning of this pose because moving into a flexed lumbar spine with your trunk outside of your center of gravity will increase the load more on the anterior portion of the vertebral body. This means, there is 'unequal' force as compared to an 'equal' compression load in 'neutral spine.". 
Remember, that this position, in and of itself is going to increase the compression loads on the spine by shear movement of the trunk away from the center of gravity. 
    Then, we add tight hamstrings, which do not allow, the pelvis to remain in 'neutral' alignment, instead pulling the pelvis into a flexed lumbar spine and posterior pelvic tilt. 
    We need to hold up for a second.  It is important to note that this discussion is about 'prevention of injury' and 'restoration of a balanced muscular system in spite of being in the 'deadlift' posture.  Some coaches teach that lumbar flexion in the deadlift is the way to go.  I am not saying that is wrong.  What I am saying, is this: Just know what you are doing from the mechanistic aka arthrokinematic point of view, in order to determine which position of your spine is good for you at that time.  Yes, you can get initially get more POWER from a Flexed lumbar spine for several reasons: 1) it turns on the pelvic floor and transverse abdominus by shortening some of these muscles.  2) It shortens the hamstring at the proximal end , so therefore when you go from the transition of knees bent to knees straight, you can potentially achieve a bit more power as well.  HOWEVER, this is where Restorative Personal Training can guide the athlete into maintaining positions of power while preventing injury.  It does however, take a bit more time to train this way, because initially , you will lose power in your deadlift.  The reason being, because you have changed the mechanics of the posture and now you must re-train the hamstrings, transverse ab, pelvic floor muscles, psoas , lattisimus dorsi, and the erectors of your spine to recognize this new place in space as related to your limbs, head and center of gravity- it's called kinesthetic awareness. 
   The training to 'sense in' to having the ability to isolate each small instrinsic muscle and inquire whether or not it is turned on or off or needs more attunement- takes a bit of time and skilled intervention.
     Deadlifts, involve many, many muscles that interact with one another and at any given point, if there is a weakness in one of those areas, can create a change big enough to strain, sprain, or herniate in the back.  Gross motor muscles that are interconnected fascially in this posture include but are not limited too: latissimus dorsi, erectors, psoas/iliacus, all 3 hamstring insertions, and your iliotibial band/tensor fascia latae. 
      From a restorative/mechanistic point of view, deadlifts can create  potential injury and signs could look like this but not limited too:
    - pain in the front of the shoulder, pain in between the shoulder blades, pain in the lower back, pain in the inner knee, pain in the front inner knee, pain below the knee cap, pain in the buttocks region near the sitting bones, pain near the coccyx region, pain in the ribcage posterior and anterior, pain in the space between the ribs and the hip on the side.                  Interesting to note as well , that many of individuals that perform Strength and Conditioning Power Bodybuilding have very high pain tolerances and pain may not be their way of telling them something is not right.  This is why it is important to have help , assessing alignment and movement within the joint spaces, within the capsule, and having sensory integration techniques performed with a skilled and trained individual to help bring to the participants awareness of physiological, muscular, nervous system, and skeletal events that may lead to potential injury or may be preventing more strength gains from occurring.   It is pretty safe to say, that if one has received  an objective diagnoses from a qualified physician that there is indeed a herniation in the lumbar spine- that one should take caution when performing a deadlift in a flexed spine as this will only exacerbate the herniation over time. Signs do not have to include back pain with a flared up herniation.  They can also include hip 'sticking', alignment issues, clicking in the hip or back, changes in gait, changes in strength, changes in the proximal or distal joints, trigger points in the innervated musculature, facial tightness, and referred pain sites such as inbetween the shoulder blades or near the posterior lower rib cage and much much more.
     I regularly see a crossfiter who has a history of a diagnosed herniation- you know who you are and I love you!  Through the years, we have watched how easy it is to mistake knee and hip pain for 'pure muscular' issues, when infact it is stemming from the consistent chronic repetative compressive loads put on the herniated disc through deadlifting.  Please remember, your form may be Perfect but even in the most optimal form, due to the mechanistic/arthrokinematic alignment that this posture demands, there will be no way of avoiding a certain amount of increased compression and increased potential of torque.  Considering all that is happening here such as the latissimus dorsi engaged along with the psoas and hamstring while the trunk is away from it's Center of Gravity.
    Without getting to much more into describing the kinesiology of these muscle groups, think about the force that is placed at the L3,L4 vertabrae when all these things are applied:  trunk outside center of gravity, pull from hamstrings on pelvis, pull of psoas muscle on L1-L5, pull of lats through the thoracolumbar attachment site. And that is just a few of the forces all culminating at this already structurally degraded site.

    Don't worry though Crossfitters, there is HOPE. Integrative Functional Movement™  is the combination of Orthopedic Massage, Restorative Personal Training, and Functional Yoga all in one session to teach you the Tools to identify and treat yourself.  You will learn things such as why to GET RID of your FOAM roller unless you know how to use it effectively. Meaning rolling out without following up with Recipricol Inhibition stretching is a WASTE of YOUR time.  Sounds like a another post.      And why Functional Yoga can take your training to an entirely new and elevated level of performance!    I write for you!!!      I wish you all wellness so that you can Continue to do the movements you LOVE , this is not about STOPPING!  It is about DOING MORE!!  Namaste.

    There is a lot of discussion in Yoga teaching regarding whether we Turn OFF the glute or Turn ON the glute during a backbend such as the Half Locust seen in the picture. 
    This really takes a very meticulous look at the kinesiology of this pose in particular and discussion to clarify Can you really 'turn off' the glute in this pose?  What does that mean exactly? And then, most important question: What does that mean to YOU?
    Any time the head of the femur moves toward a 'hip extension' in Active movement, the glute is going to activate,  meaning muscle spindles will turn ON.  The head of the femur has to glide anteriorly with hip extension : Arthrokinematics 101. Muscle spindles are part of the contractile components of muscle physiology.  There are also mechanoreceptors in the joint space that tell the brain, "hey, wake up, my femur bone is moving as related to my pelvic bone so tell Mr. Guteus he needs to help out!!!" This happens without our cognitive input , under conditioned movements like walking , etc.   Now, this leads to another question: Can we learn to tell the muscle to not fire on when we move the femur through hip extension?  Most definitely, yes with passive Range of motion but how about Active Range of motion? 
    Lots to discuss- whew.  Oh, and then we have what is optimal versus normal.  And, add to that, what YOUR body has been trained to do versus MY body and what our potentials are between the two of US!!!! 
    I am going to keep this one simple, it is important to know that you cannot turn off the glute completely in Half Locust if you do the pose to it's complete Posture. This means, if you are moving through the joint range of motion - there is no turning 'off' the glute completely, can you turn the volume Down? YES SIR.  Can you train the glute to not fire at all when in a static position like laying on belly without trying to lift the legs- YOU BET!!!  However, some of us, have trained our nervous system to be 'FIRED UP' all the freaking time.  So, some of us, need to be reminded that we can control the 'on' switch when we are supposedly in a passive position.  This is Freeing Stuff right here!  Wow, to think we can actually control our nervous system in some very profound ways.  With our cognitive brain, i.e. the frontal lobe communicating with that other part of our brain that sends motor messages to the spinal chord- we can in fact, say 'let's chill out , glutes so the internal rotators can take lead and our pelvic floor has a chance to get more hardwired here before we move further into the pose".  Yippie!  However, in Active movement, the glute will in fact, through muscle physiology- turn on to assist gliding the head of the femur into hip extension.  However, it is also relevant to use verbal cues to guide the participants to 'sense in' (see above sentence) to which muscles you are trying to get them to turn on in ADDITION to the glute and to guide them with verbal cuing , into more Synergistic relationships between the muscles that would be required to perform this posture- therefore working towards a BALANCED foundation within the neuromuscular and arthrokinematic platforms. 
    This is the foundation to take regarding if you have a herniation in your back, if you have large glutes getting in the way, if you have a more powerful glute than your internal rotators of the hip, or if you want as an instructor to emphasize Mula Bandha and so much more. The the question should not be initially:  "Do I turn the glutes on or off" The initial question should be:  " What is my intention here?" "Where am I headed with this?'   So, you see, there is no right or wrong for ALL people.  There is only, What works for YOU? For some of us, like myself included, my intention is to create Balance between the front of my body and the back.  Especially since I know that my Psoas muscle is the one constantly fired up and thinks she is in control, that over time from having a chronic compression load to the nerve that innervates both my psoas and glute, that my glute has started 'shutting down' without my conscious control.  This means that my muscle fibers are not firing up in the numbers that I want them too to achieve a balance between my agonist and antagonist relationship.  So, for me I see things like weakness in my glutes, pain in my front of hip, and inability to perform some poses, even as simple as altering my gait, due to this imbalance. Does that mean I ALWAYS want to try and 'turn on' my glute then in a back bend? Nope, not necessarily because it depends on the intensity, duration, and frequency that I am putting into balancing out my restorative modalities with my tearing down/thus muscle building activities.  My nervous system needs to know how to adapt to change and restore - so sometimes, I have to practice this 'conscious awareness technique of turning off'. 
     In the what works for you category, it takes some real time, real tools, real self inquiry to come to a full awakening , intellectually and somatically what is the most Optimal considerations at that moment.  We change, daily.  This is why all of us have an opportunity to learn from one another. Sometimes, even the most astute teachers, have imbalances that they are not even aware - so to be shut down to listening and learning from others, is a disservice to self and in yogic terms, perhaps is quite egocentric.  It is not about you are wrong and I am right.  It is about, listening to self and others without the distractions of a Rigid perspective.  That is so old school Western Conformity.  It is time to start a Revolution. Be Free. They say some people are not capable of change, of evolving.  I do not conform to that opinion.  I believe we all are more capable than we know.  I know that I am more capable and I want to know how to reach my highest potential.

Know yourself.  Know truth.  Know Freedom- to choose. Let's Fly Together. Namaste.

     Yoga Sutra; Book 1, verse 2.  "If you can control the rising of the mind into ripples, you will experience Yoga".

      Book 1, verses 2-5 from Alberto Villodo translation of Yoga Sutras:
"Yoga frees you from the drama, the tragedy, the saga your mind creates-it allows you to experience your true self.  Your true self knows reality, it does not confuse it with the twisted tails, your mind spins.  Some of the stories bring pleasure, some pain- all entails the fiction that distracts you from the reality and your true self."

   

So, here is the skinny!  Take a good look at the lower spine of this picture.  The lumbar spine can be observed between the last/12th rib and the ilium/top of pelvis.  In forward fold, the lumbar spine is in full flexion.  In a spine with a herniation, bulge or perforation, structurally the front part of the vertebrae is compressed the most which puts increased and unbalanced pressure on the disc which lies between each vertebrae.  Therefore, if you have a herniation, this means the already increased compression on the spinal chord or nervous tissue, is increased even more in Uttanasana.  Know, it is almost impossible for MOST people to remain in 'Neutral Spine' and achieve this type of mobility in the hamstring as seen in picture because the hamstrings attachment site is on the ichial tuberosity of the pelvis.  When the hamstring is lengthened to it's fullest extent, at the end range , this proximal attachment site will pull on the pelvis into posterior tilt.  This posterior tilt, forces the lumbar spine into flexion.  What is "Neutral Spine"?  Neutral spine is the position of the lumbar spine, that in a healthy spine has the equal /balanced amount of compression loads on the disc.  It represents a normal lordotic curve in the lumbar spine, meaning a small curvature.  No way around it, we have increased compression loads on our spine when we stand up against gravity.  So, in a spine with herniation, to prevent further injury, or pain, or increasing unbalanced compression loads, we work toward understanding and being able to be aware of when a neutral spine is necessary.  People with herniation, can build strength and stability by balancing out the anterior (front)muscles of the body with the posterior (back) especially as relates to the spinal stability.  It is not about never ever doing an Uttanasana ever again, it is about knowing what is good for your body at that moment in your life.  Understanding the biomechanics of your body, will give you the tools to question EVERYTHING and make intelligent decisions about your body regardless of what you hear.  Besides, it  is not that the PT is wrong or right, it is about philosophy and individual appropriateness at that time. Physical Therapists are highly skilled biomechanical assessors, value their input - know yourself. 

            STORMS are coming but the beauty of what they have the potential of bringing- should not be feared.

     Imagine, yourself sitting at the Thanksgiving table, with your family.  How does this make you feel?  For some of us, we are filled with warmth and laughter in our hearts that parallels the huge smile we just noticed on our faces.  For some of us, we dread the day, already being filled with the anxiety from past experiences of a room filled with chaos, negativity, or feelings of neglect.  Already, our hearts are beating quickly in thought of this impending and inevitable- disaster.  Now notice, that no matter which side of the coin you are on, a simple thought created an emotion and that emotion led to a physical response.  What if I were to tell you that you have all the control in the world, not of the impeding event, but how your body , your mind, reacts to thoughts?  Why is this even important? Why do we need to be aware of how our thoughts can effect our emotion ie our physiological response? Because awareness is the key foundation tool, to then create change- if it is necessary.  If you deem it necessary to go home for Thanksgiving then how can much control do you have over how your body responds?  A lot.  Why is this important? For two reasons: 1) if your body responds to a thought that increases your heart rate , this sets off a limbic response physiologically.  You think it, you create it.  Meaning, this one thought just set into motion, a fight or flight response that releases cortisol into the blood stream, charges the limbic system, potentially decreases activity to the frontal lobes (ie the rational mind) , cortisol stimulates rise in blood sugar levels, and then- the behavioral component gets involved.  Hmm, now maybe I will eat some ice cream, or now I have to go for a run or punch something, or maybe your body starts to shut down.  Maybe you feel tired all of a sudden and you want to sit in front of the tv to zone out.  What if, you began to see your emotional considerations as purely biological?  Do you think you could have some control over the change?  How do you know where to start to create change in your life, if you are not even sure of what to change or what has an effect on what? 
  What if I told you, life is much more simple than what we embrace most days.  That we are more CAPABLE than we give ourselves credit for!  That we can simplify our lives, increase our physical energy, quiet our minds without falling asleep, be more involved NOT less!  YOU CAN!!  Will is important but WILL PLUS SKILL makes ALL the difference.  Your will only runs you into the ground, if your body gives out, if you are working too hard!!!  It is not about working HARD, it is about working with SKILL.  Will plus skill , pushes you to your highest POTENTIAL.
     Integrative Functional Movement: The combination of Orthopedic Massage + Restorative Personal Training + Functional Yoga.   It is about doing MORE not less.  It is about doing , moving, listening to self, with real tools, for real change so that you have the energy to mainstay the long run.  Marathon runners, corporations looking to stay on top of the innovative field, you must combing WILL with SKILL or the energy runs out at some point.  You must fuel a car - true, but you must also change the filter, do regular maintenance and the car LAST LONGER.  Integrative Functional Movement is about improving lives, improving community- one person at at time.  It is my belief that it is NOT always about doing less, but learning how to keep doing what you are doing but with MORE SKILL and therefore keeping you in the game for LONGER and with MORE JOY !!!  We are NOT LINEAR PEOPLE!!! We move in 3 planes of motion ! This is a mechanistic perspective but it is an anology of how we should look at our existence.  We are not just muscle and bone, we are also a brain with a spinal cord- ie. nervous system and what happens to our brain, our spinal- effects our thoughts, our muscular performance, our immune and endocrine system.  If you learn the skills to BALANCE your nervous system, foundationally- it can effect EVERYTHING else in your body, your mind, and your connection to self and others.
     You can experience the same events you associate a negative pattern, without changing the event- change yourself from the body-mind connection and you change your 'experience' of the same old event.  I think to keep it simple, we start with BODYWORK.  Simple.  It is about believing we are capable of change , embracing the tools, then implementing.
   Sometimes, belief comes after the experience because from the inside out, you are rewriting the pattern.  My intention for ALL of you- is to know True Freedom.  Reach your highest POTENTIAL!!!  Live to the FULLEST.  Weather the STORM with gratitude, love, strength, and skill.  The payoff, can be PROFOUND.