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Meditation for Clarity not Spirituality

7/11/2013

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Today as I was sitting with a good friend at Golden West Cafe in the artsy side of Hampden, the question was posted : "Do you do meditation for spirituality?".  My quick reply was an emphatic,  "No." Being as the last few days, had been extremely stressful for me, the last thing on my mind was spirituality.  The first thing on my mind was 'how do I not go crazy', 'how do I not cry' , 'how do I deal with the reality of this situation with clarity and not just pack a bag and disappear'.  Now all of these choices may sound dramatic and extreme, and they absolutely are!  In fact, I know I am not alone in this behavioral pattern. It is not unique for humans to  often times 'react' to unexpected changes that occur and especially so, if the unexpected change occurs to ones own body or personal space.  My tool that I manage this level of stress, is to not get to this level of stress and I have lots of wonderful tools to 'prevent' this event but sometimes, especially when my hormones are in the middle of transition and an 'unexpected' event occurs during this already 'physiological stressful event', the addition to this stress from external events, can be over the top, outside of my management tools ability. 

I believe that I have been able to witness the benefits of mindfulness meditation and breath work, because of the profound change; a change so drastic that it is externally and internally noticeable to self and others.  I am not quite sure how  people perceive me but I have been told, I appear calm, chill, gentle, and at other times, silly and have a loud laugh. I am all these things and so much more.     Only the closest of friends who rock climb with me and witness first hand, the trigger of being in a perceptibly near death situation, see my 'reaction' to perceived stress- only on the rock do these events empower me- because I have chosen to be there.  I am 100 percent committed to working through the event and am expecting that it will happen.  So, I am not 'surprised' when a 60 foot climb with a traverse that could potentially place me at higher risk, of  physical harm, if I were to fall, would trigger a panic attack.  I have the ability to pull inside myself, and physically ground myself literally to the rock.  Through sensing the coolness and the texture of the rock, beneath my left pinky, left ring finger, left middle finger, left index finger, left thumb. Feel my left foot on the rock below my left hip and sense exactly where it is, visualize it inside my head with my eyes closed- this type of 'tool' , this sensing in and utilizing visual imaging- helps to keep me calm on the rock or sometimes, pull me out of a panic attack.  It keeps me connected to my body and reminds me that I have some control over the situation, then gives me the power to act- to move and commit to finishing that damn climb!

However, when something unexpected happens to my body, my personal space that completely takes me off guard, if my physiological chemistry is just so in a transition when this event is introduced- sometimes- all that training takes a backseat. The only thing that gets me back on track is MEDITATION/synonymous with breath work. I wonder and often contemplate this disconnect between my brain and my peripheral system.  As I do not have to 'perceive' stress for my body to demonstrate and feel 'stressed'. 

So, I have embraced meditation as a 'life skill', necessary for me to function in life as a FREE person.    I have lived long enough to know I am not unique, or special, or that much different from most other humans in my body's response to 'stress'.  Pathology, is the body's response to 'stress'.  We cannot escape stress. Perceived stress can create more physiological stress but physiological stress can occur without/outside of a perceived stress. However, meditation, has allowed me to at least have a tool that I believe has the ability to 'restore' and 'rejuvenate' my body , hopefully back or as close to a state of balance or homeostasis as possible. It has given me the skill, to 'observe' my body when it is stressed without cognitively participating in the physiological stress.  I am always looking at myself and how to create change in self because , I believe that no matter how much I strive for a balanced life, it is rare and difficult to really achieve on a physiological level.  In the culture we live in, it is almost impossible.  This is why disease happens.  This is why our bodies age.  Those who can restore their bodies and brains closer to this state of homeostasis, more often,  are the ones that age slower, have less disease,  and greater functional longevity.        

This belief, inspires me to practice.  I will never 'be there'.  For me, it is truly the journey , the process of practice that enables me to heal, to grow, to stay true to my intrinsic goodness, kindness, love, and acceptance of self and others.    In many ways, I feel as if my journey is just beginning.  Meditation has helped me to feel as if I have been given a new life, a new chance, and can completely start fresh.  I am learning how to 'reprocess' old memories, just simply by meditation. No drugs, no EMDR and no consistent dependence on my therapist, my government, my insurance, my job- simply taking ownership of my own body, my own mind. To be in a place that I am confident I am capable of helping myself, is a freeing place to know life.

Sometimes, I forget , just for a moment, the pain of my past.  In fact, it seems to be getting further and further away. Sometimes, I have to stop, just to purposely, remember.  I remember, because it keeps me true.  I never have to pretend to know- Oh, I know.  I know what pain and suffering is- and I know what freedom from pain and suffering feels like too.  I do not need to be embarrassed nor not talk about it because others may feel uncomfortable.  I neither need to care really or attach myself to the pain any longer .  I used to carry it like it was worth something;  like it was an ugly painful part of me, but it was me and I was not about to let go of it. When I realized, that the pain was my identity, I made a decision to change my identity.  I did not have to be 'pain'.  Moving through the process, was much harder.  Often times, feeling visceral responses to the moments of 'letting go'.  At one point, I remember, physically feeling like my insides were being torn apart and my mind, went into some space I had never recognized before - it was a sensation I have never felt prior and yet to have felt again. The event was a somatic 'letting go'.  My body and my mind both became one in choosing to 'let go' of the memory, the belief, the perspective that I had been holding onto for so many years.  I choose at that moment to 'let go' and I have never struggled with that perception or belief again.  I am confident I chose a way of peace and truth because , both my mind and my body, began to heal, it seemed much differently and quicker to get into that space of 'letting go',  after that experience.       

Now, I have given a lot of credence to meditation and breath work but this is not the only tool obviously that has helped me to succeed in making real physiological and cognitive changes in my life.  Community has been just as important.  Community.  A community of people, may just be one, but it is crucial to healing.  One must feel loved and be able to love in return.  If this is not there, healing is shunted.       

This is where, going to group Yoga classes can be highly beneficial.  You do not have to announce yourself - you can go and just 'be'. Observe for awhile.  Give yourself permission to exist in a space of other people, who will not judge you or expect anything from you, other than to participate in the yoga session.  And if they do, who cares.  Yoga can be a great introduction to meditation with movement.  It can help make real changes in the physiology of your metabolism, your hormones, your brain - starts the training of mindfulness.  Yoga is a great start to getting connected - to self first and to others second.

Meditation is the tool of Mindfulness, the quality of the mind that observes, without judgement.  To me, this is clarity.  I meditate to be in more moments of clarity or mindfulness.  It is these moments that allow me to make decisions based on choice, not impulsive 'reactions' to a perception or body feel. 

Meditation may be a way to 'enlightenment' or deepening one's 'spirituality' but for me - it is a pathway to deeply and honestly connect and reconnect to 'self' and to community.  It is my path to 'awakening' to  life.    Maybe, for some people, this is spirituality. If so, then yes- I practice for spirituality.                                

A way to move from surviving to thriving.
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Moving Through Surviving to Thriving: Real Tools of Change - Meditation

4/28/2013

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On our very first Radio Show, Dr. Terry Grossman mentioned many specific tools of change.  The one that I have chosen to highlight for this moment is meditation.  I am committed to providing Real Tools, Real Facts, to Real People in order to inspire Real Change.  In line with this commitment I have chosen to introduce to you a 3 minute verbally guided meditation practice as a part of the end of show segment titled “Tools of Change”.

What is meditation?  First, let me clarify the type of meditation that I introduced in the segment of the show, entitled: “Tools of Change”.  I consider attention to breath, to the sensations of the body, the slowing down the breath to a 6 second inhale and exhale, a form of meditation.  This specific type of breath work/meditation was first introduced to me when I read a book titled “How to Use Herbs, Nutrients, and Yoga in Mental Health Care”.  This book refers to the 6 second inhale /exhale as ‘coherent breath’.  I began to practice this type of meditation as a means to decrease my anxiety and manage my perceived and unperceived physiological stressors.  What I began to observe was profound for me.  I began to have less panic attacks.  I began to notice how my thoughts were leading to my anxiety.  I began to implement meditation immediately whenever I felt I needed to ‘let go’ of thoughts but could not do so with mere ‘will’.  Then I began to have more energy.  I began to remain more engaged in conversation without getting distracted, my memory began to improve, my ability to vocalize became more assertive, I began to be less nervous and distracted in work environments, performance events, my physical coordination improved and my expressive language skills changed.  I had previously experienced severe and often limiting anxiety - therefore, the effects of meditation for me were profound.  In summary, for the purposes of clarifying the meditation utilized in the "Tools of Change" segment at the end of the show, the form of meditation utilized is coherent breathing.

What I began to learn from my research was that several different forms of meditation have been studied and have been found to help with a multitude of things besides anxiety, depression and stress.  Some studies are suggesting consistent meditation helps improve sleep, immune system responses, working memory and skilled learning.  Some studies are stating meditation lowers inflammation thus decreasing arteriosclerosis, which can be correlated to heart disease, stroke and diabetes.  Recently, I completed a LifeForce Yoga Practitioner - 1 course.  One of the tools I took home from this course is an awareness that if I can accurately access my emotion, my mood and my body’s present state then by performing certain breath techniques I can successfully manipulate my nervous system to ‘balance’ out my emotion and/or mood.  This is a more complex level of meditation but will be a topic of discussion in the future.  For the purposes of this discussion, my intention is to mention how powerful breath work and meditation can be if it is performed mindfully and intelligently.

I decided that even if you are someone who never stresses - meditation can still benefit you.  Meditation can benefit EVERYONE - leading to helping the body and brain evolve towards an optimal performance level.  What I love most about Meditation is that it is FREE!!!  It is free and can lead to even more freedom!  Is meditation the answer to the world’s problems?  It is just one tool that if implemented, can help all of us to embrace a higher quality of life.  Is this debatable? Of course.  Everything is and I encourage everyone to always question everything.  This is just a tool to research for yourself - you decide if it is helpful for you or not.  I am just relating my own personal journey and experience utilizing Meditation.  I hope that with sharing my story I can provide resources for you to further your own personal research and perhaps this research can lead you to something that helps you to create the change you seek.  This change can come from many forms of meditation, such as transcendental, compassion, mindfulness, breath work and more depending on the environment you practice within.

Note that I do give credibility to the discussion that meditation is hard to define and that studies are inconclusive partially due to the many different forms of meditation.  My reply to this is that the reason there is so much diversity and inconclusiveness is because human beings are diverse!  Meditation and breath work has been profound for me because of me!  So, if I were to undergo an MRI pre/post meditation, because of my already over stimulated limbic system I would show benefit from meditation and breath work as a means to calm that limbic system.  If you do not have an overstimulated limbic system then this form of meditation may not be what you need.  If you are a person who is not in touch with your inner self, lack compassion, or are not comfortable with silence then there are forms of meditation for this.  Meditation and the study of meditation can perhaps lead you, lead me, lead us as a community to get to know ourselves more, our needs more, potentially cutting down on the confusion and overwhelming feeling of having to wade through all the discrepancies and different opinions about what is good for us and may not be helpful for us at this time in our lives but maybe will be better utilized in the future.  My point is that we are always changing.  Meditation has helped me by being a real tool that has enabled me to learn to discern when it is the appropriate time to implement it and when it is not.  It has enabled me to make logical, conscientious choices, not impulsive decisions.  Do your own research, experiment and make decisions, but first know yourself.  This cuts down on the stress from everything always changing!  

Change is inevitable.  Suffering can be less when we realize we have choices based more on what we know about ourselves, not just what others are telling us is healthy.  In my belief, meditation is a powerful tool to enable the higher learning centers of the brain to function optimally, while at the same time calming the limbic system, which functionally translates into the ability of humans to observe events calmly, process what is occurring, then objectively act as opposed to reacting.  The process of training the brain to respond in this manner on conscious command parallels the training of getting to know our true selves.

Resources:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12802125
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12883106
http://nccam.nih.gov/research/results/spotlight/110112
http://nccam.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm
http://www.anticancerbook.com/post/Mindfulness-meditation-boosts-the-immune-system.html
http://isites.harvard.edu/fs/docs/icb.topic893616.files/Neuroscience_Meditation.pdf
http://www.coherence.com/
“The Healing Power of the Breath” Richard P. Brown, MD & Patricia L. Gerbarg, MD
“Yoga for Depression” Amy Weintraub
“How to Use Herbs, Nutrients, and Yoga in Mental Health Care” Richard P. Brown, MD, Patricia L. Gerbarg, MD, & Philip R. Muskin



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